Funny News Story Titles In Essays

On the average, five times as many people read the headline as read the body copy. When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your dollar. 
—David Ogilvy

In a world full of noise, how do you get people to read what you write? It takes more than good content or great design. The most important part of writing an article is the headline.

To see exactly how I create blog posts that grab people’s attention, watch this video.

The same principle applies to blog posts, book chapters, and so on: The title is where your focus should be. You should begin and end every article with the question: “Would this make me want to read on?”

If not, don’t publish until you’ve got a catchy headline. Concentrate on this, and you’ll get more readers, more buzz, and more love.

How to write catchy headlines

Too often the headline is the most neglected part of writing an article. People just gloss over it without taking much time to consider it. In their minds, it’s the cherry on top. No, friends; it’s not. The headline is the sundae.

I sometimes deliberate over titles for 30–60 minutes before settling on one that works. And I often go back and change them. This is what it takes to write a good headline.

If you need some help concocting catchier headlines, here are a few simple tricks (you can also watch me walk you through this in the free video and checklist.that accompanies this post).

1. Use numbers to give concrete takeaways

There’s a reason why so many copywriters use numbers in their headlines. It works.

Do an experiment: Go to the grocery store, and scan the magazines in the checkout lane. Look at the front-page article headlines. It doesn’t matter if it’s a fitness magazine or a tabloid; many of them will be using numerals to start off the headline.

There aren’t really any rules (as far as I know) regarding what numbers work best, but people typically only remember three to five points. That said, sometimes a really obscure number like 19 or 37 can catch people’s attention.

Warning: don’t overuse numbers or use them arbitrarily. If your article clearly has some key takeaways, adding a number to the headline can help make the takeaways more digestible. But if the article doesn’t, don’t force it.

2. Use emotional adjectives to describe your reader’s problem

Here are some examples:

  • Effortless
  • Painstaking
  • Fun
  • Free
  • Incredible
  • Essential
  • Absolute
  • Strange

3. Use unique rationale to demonstrate what the reader will get out of the article

If you’re going to do a list post, be original. For example consider the following:

  • Reasons
  • Principles
  • Facts
  • Lessons
  • Ideas
  • Ways
  • Secrets
  • Tricks

If possible, never use things. Please, for the love of Pete, don’t use things. You can do better than that.

4. Use what, why, how, or when

These are trigger words. I typically use “why” and “how” the most, because I’m often trying to persuade or enable someone. Typically, you’ll use either a trigger word or a number. Rarely does it sound good to do both.

5. Make an audacious promise

Promise your reader something valuable. Will you teach her how to learn a new skill? Will you persuade her to do something she’s never done before? Will you unlock an ancient mystery?

What you want to do is dare your reader to read the article. Without over-promising, be bold. Be seductive (in the most innocuous way possible, of course). Be dangerous. And then deliver what you promised.

Try this formula

Here’s a simple headline-writing formula:

Number or Trigger word + Adjective + Keyword + Promise

Example: Take the subject “bathing elephants.” You could write an article entitled, “How to Bath an Elephant” or “Why I Love Bathing Elephants.”

Or you could apply this formula and make it: “18 Unbelievable Ways You Can Bathe an Elephant Indoors”

Another (more serious) example: Take a bold promise like “selling your house in a day.”

Apply the formula and you get: “How You Can Effortlessly Sell Your Home in Less than 24 Hours”

Here are some examples of my most popular articles and the headlines behind them:

When in doubt, be clear

People don’t want to be tricked into reading something boring; they want to be drawn into something exciting. Make it worth their while.

Take extra long time to consider what headline will grab people’s attention the most, and make sure that it describes your content in an honest, but attractive, way. They won’t regret it, and neither will you.

You can go grab the downloadable checklist that accompanies this blog post right here.

And if you don’t yet have a blog, check out my 8-minute video walk-through on how to launch a self-hosted WordPress blog.

What tricks for writing catchy headlines do you use? Share in the comments.

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40 Headlines: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Writing catchy, effective headlines takes work. In fact, you might spend almost as much time coming up with the headline for an article or blog post as it takes to write the piece. Understanding why some headlines work — and why many fall flat — can help you hit the mark more often with your own headlines.

Need help with headlines?
You’ve come to the right place! Click to get started!

Headline Gold: Article Titles That Pop

Image via Flickr by InteractiveNewsprint

The best headlines serve as irresistible invitations to read the rest of your content. They might evoke emotion or inspire curiosity, depending on the subject, but they should always elicit a reaction.

Specifically, you want the reader to click on the headline and view your content.

Here are a few headlines that get the job done:

1. Eminem Terrified As Daughter Begins Dating Man Raised On His Music

Referencing familiar emotions, such as a parent’s worry for a growing child, can make a headline extremely effective. Add a celebrity’s name for even more juice.

2. 7 Ways to Make Money While Waiting for Disability Benefits

This headline combines several useful strategies: it uses a number to suggest a listicle approach in the content, it promises a way to solve a common problem (“make money”), and it adds specificity to narrow the audience.

3. How to Have a Healthier and More Productive Home Office

Make a specific, actionable promise with your headlines. Unusual adjectives can help add interest.

4. A Little Mistake That Cost a Farmer $3,000 a Year

As long as you don’t try to manipulate the reader, scare tactics can contribute to effective headlines.

5. Are You Making These Embarrassing Mistakes at Work?

Triggering a milder emotion can also encourage clicks, especially if you present a familiar situation for the reader.

6. Lose 8 Pounds in 2 Weeks

Don’t promise too much in a headline like this, but if you can deliver on the headline’s guarantee, you’ll find that specific, deadline-oriented language works well.

7. How Many of These Italian Foods Have You Tried?

Questions prove particularly effective in headlines, especially if you can engage the reader’s curiosity.

8. What’s Scarier Than the Sex Talk? Talking About Food & Weight

Sensational headlines work well if you don’t oversell them — or venture into crass territory. They can also add spice to otherwise dry news headlines.

9. More Than Half of Medical Advice on ‘Dr. Oz’ Lacks Proof or Contradicts Best Available Science

Statistics can add authority to your headlines and attract attention. Adding a celebrity name doesn’t hurt, either.

10. Lack Time? Here Are 4 Convenient Ways to Keep Your Dog Fit

Set up the headline with a familiar problem, then offer a specific number of ways to complete a goal or task.

11. How One Stupid Tweet Blew Up Justine Sacco’s Life

Combine a news story with a pervasive fear to create a great headline. Bonus points if it involves a cautionary tale.

12. 10 Signs That You Will NOT Make It As A Successful Photographer

You might anger a few folks, but confrontational headlines can encourage conversation and lead to clicks.

13. Sure-Fire Ways to Ruin Your Marriage

Turn around the common listicle approach to headlines by offering X reasons the reader can create an undesirable outcome.

14. 10 Different Types of Girlfriends – Which One Are You?

This headline plays on the same motivations that encourage people to take quizzes in magazines.

15. More of Us May Be “Almost Alcoholics”

Encourage people to click to find out if they’re part of a group you mention in the headline. Both positive and negative associations can prove effective.

Content Killers: Headlines That Never Pan Out

Now let’s take a look at a few headlines that won’t do your content any favors.

16. Make One Million Dollars in One Day

Don’t over-promise in your headlines and under-deliver in your content. That’s a sure-fire way to lose a reader for good.

17. Study Shows Frequent Sex Enhances Pregnancy Chances

Headlines don’t work if they state the obvious.

18. We Didn’t Believe It. So We Fact-Checked It (Twice). Now Let’s Talk About How to Take It Worldwide.

This headline works in 18 words and a parenthetical aside, but we still don’t have any clue what it’s about.

19. “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” Ultimate Guide

This type of headline can work well, but only if it’s actually the ultimate guide. If you’re just jotting down 500 words on the subject, rewrite the title.

20. Health Insurance Companies HATE This New Trick

Consumers get smarter every year. Clickbait headlines generate more irritation and resentment than intrigue.

21. The Weight Loss Trick That Everyone Is Talking About

If everyone is already talking about it, why does the subject deserve an article?

22. This Stick Of Butter Is Left Out At Room Temperature; You Won’t Believe What Happens Next

Some headline formulas have been done to death. The “You Won’t Believe What Happens Next” catchphrase has played out, so find a new way to hook readers.

23. The DOJ Just Released Its Ferguson Investigation — And What They Found Was Horrifying

Here’s another example of clickbait. If readers don’t actually find the content horrifying, they’ll feel cheated.

24. 60 Photos From the Past That Will Blow Your Mind

Today’s readers don’t want you to tell them how they feel. Headlines like these suggest that the article’s author knows people better than they know themselves.

25. What state has highest rate of rape in the country? It may surprise you.

CNN learned the hard way that using sensitive issues like rape as clickbait will turn readers against you.

26. 5 Reasons To Date A Girl With An Eating Disorder

Some people might still hate-read blogs, but most have cleansed their bookmark lists of offensive material.

27. Weight Loss Shakes Lose Weight Today

Keyword stuffing doesn’t just plague content — it’s also a problem for headlines. Often, you wind up with word salad.

28. No Results With Your Attempts to Stop Drinking?

This headline doesn’t say anything. The best headlines tell you exactly what the article will offer.

29. The Importance of the Legal Aspects of Business Correspondence

Clarity is essential for headlines. If readers don’t understand what the headline means, they won’t read the article.

30. How to Tie Your Shoes

Teaching your audience how to do something ridiculously simple probably won’t do you any favors.

Headline Fails: Cringe-Worthy Titles

Now we come to the ugly: headlines that could have been great if a copy editor had given them a second read.

31. Dead Body Found in Cemetery

You don’t say? Believe it or not, this headline made its way into a newspaper despite its accidentally humorous connotations.

32. One-Armed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers

If you’re aiming for an empathetic headline, don’t mistakenly poke fun at the subject.

33. Infusion Partners With Anheuser-Busch to Accelerate Business Innovation Using Microsoft Hololens

Jargon- and buzzword-laden headlines aren’t compelling to a general audience.

34. How To Write Award Winning Blog Headlines

As far as we know, there aren’t any awards for blog headlines.

35. No, Spooning Isn’t Sexist. The Internet Is Just Broken.

Never mind that it’s impossible to “break the Internet.” When your headline uses two completely unrelated statements and fails to tie them together — especially when one of those statements involves a trite buzzword or phrase — your headline fails.

36. Ebola in the air? A nightmare that could happen.

This headline seems to play on the aforementioned scare tactics, but it ultimately fails because the article goes on to say that it can’t happen.

37. These Workers Just Want Money, And You Won’t Believe What They Did To Get Some.

Workers, by definition, expect money — or some form of remuneration. Try not to resort to obvious statements in headlines.

38. Someone Gave Some Kids Some Scissors. Here’s What Happened Next.

If your readers immediately picture a preschool bloodbath, your headline isn’t doing its job.

39. Rubio Suggests Trump Has Small Genitals

In today’s political climate, this isn’t even newsworthy. It’s also a rather tasteless headline.

40. Tiger Puts Balls in Wrong Place Again

When you’re writing a headline, go ahead and try for the bad pun. Once it’s out of your system, revise.

Writing Better Headlines

If your headlines sound like they belong in the “bad” or “ugly” category, you can easily recover with a few tips. Great headlines give your content more visibility and help you rank better in search engines, so it pays to enhance your skill at writing them.

Start with the main idea of your article. Do you want to educate your audience? Entertain your readers? Inspire action?

Use adjectives and action verbs in your headline that appeal to your target audience or that serve the subject matter. Write three or four different headlines, then compare them. Why do you like one over the others?

The more you play with different headline formulas and constructions, the better you’ll get. As long as you keep your audience in mind, you’ll craft headlines that will encourage users to click on your article titles and read your content to the very end.

How to Create Better HeadlinesThe State of Content Marketing Survey 2016 is Open

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